“On Step-Fathers”

I rarely go to bars anymore. I used to go out a lot. My best buddy and I had a blast for years. Later, I went out a lot with my wife. I stopped going out when the kids were born. I just never wanted to go boozing when the kids were at home.

But it’s Christmas and I thought I’d stop for one on the way home tonight

I was going to sit up at the bar with a Grand Marnier (NOT served in a snifter) and a soda-back. In the midwest, a soda-back is a rock glass with a blast of some soda water as a chaser – not that one is actually needed. I had Grand Marnier on my mind because Templeton Rye is impossible to get a hold of around here and I always reserve my Jameson for Christmas Eve. I don’t like beer and Captain Morgan is far too casual for a Christmas shooter.

My plan was to kick back and raise a silent toast St. Joseph because I always thought he got a raw deal. Jesus and Mary at least knew what they were getting into when everything went down in Herod-land. St. Joe was just thrown in – feet first. After all, he was just the dad – or rather, a stepdad – but he certainly made the grade. He was a good guy in a difficult situation. I think when he died, they probably greeted him in Heaven without all the TSA-style “up-down” glances and assessments. He probably got a “pass”. I’m sure he was set up in a nice place, “something with a view – something nice” (as my dad says). The guy deserved it. There is no way Christmas could have happened like it did without St. Joseph. Maybe reservations would have been a good idea in hindsight, but he did have a lot on his mind after all.

I am not a stepfather and I do not as of yet have any plans to become one. But then, who does? My grandfather was technically my step-grandfather. I doubt very much he planned to be a step-father not to mention a grandfather to his stepdaughter’s kids, but he did a great job. He was with my sister when she died. As the story goes, he altered my name when he first saw me – a great source of confusion well into grade school, but it didn’t matter – he was a good guy. He probably has a nice place up there. Nobody, absolutely nobody liked Christmas more than he did. He had the best Christmas parties I have ever seen to this day. He probably leaves the lights up all year in Heaven and has a bottle of Frangelico in the bottom shelf of his cabinet.

My dad has been a great stepfather to my two stepsisters. They would not be who they are today without him. I do not think he woke up one day and decided to be a stepfather, I really wonder if anyone does. He was just commenting the other day about having to put up all the “Christmas crap”. He has a certain, uh, “special” way with words. Always has. The important thing to note is the decorations are always set up perfectly and everything is always shined up as if someone used 8 bottles of Windex to make sure there was not a dull spot or a speck anywhere.

My own stepfather was a good guy. He passed away a couple of weeks ago. He was Mr. Christmas himself. I understand he was helping out at one of his kids’ place of business as they were preparing for the holidays. He was a class act, a good man. Like St. Joseph, he provided well for his family no matter as to the circumstances. I’ve always thought he had the patience of Job. This will be his first Christmas away from his family, but I really don’t think he’ll be far away. I bet he has a camper with Christmas lights on it and the biggest tree.

My best friend who I used to booze with when we were younger has two beautiful kids from Korea. He is working a lot, but he always makes sure his kids have a great Christmas. He’s one of the best examples of being a father that I know. My brother is another one. He’s for all practical purposes the “go to guy” for his stepson and has been for years.

I wonder if St. Joseph knew he was setting such an example 2000 years ago, or if he just did what needed to be done.

I had to work late tonight. It’s a recession and Christmas is about a week away.

My kids are at home.

I’ll just have a Grand Marnier some other time.

Happy Christmas.

JohnStillmunks.com